Cuz We Said So

The Worst Film of 2007

I realize this is a bold statement, with ten and a half months left to go in this year, but I have to say it'll take something really special to outdo "Ghost Rider". It really is quite astonishing how bad this movie is. It makes "Fantastic 4" look like "Spider-Man".

First off, the story feels really forced. A tale of a ne'er-do-well who likes to jump bikes across astronomical distances who tries to rekindle his relationship with his old girlfriend? That might be fun, and I might even enjoy Nic Cage in the role. But the entire Beelzebub / Son of Beelzebub plot makes little sense. The goons that Ghost Rider must dispatch in orderly fashion before he faces off against the Main Bad Guy all die strangely random, uninvolving (and worse, uncool) deaths.

How do I know this film is really bad?

Donal Logue isn't funny.

Sam Elliot isn't cool.

Eva Mendes is so bad, I almost was distracted from how hot she is. (Almost.) In fact, this is the first time I've ever preferred the younger version of a major character in a film before. Raquel Alessi -- remarkably well cast as Mendes's doppelganger -- is ten times the actor Mendes is.

The writing is painful. The cinematography is hideous. And the ending -- save for one vaguely nifty twist -- is uniformly terrible. Never has the setup for sequels been done with less grace or dignity. (And that's saying something.)

This may be the worst comic book movie ever. (Yes, it's worse than "Superman 4: Quest for Peace".)

Brrr!

Quite the wooly day here in the North, making a walk down the slush-coated streets in downtown Manhattan quite a challenge.  And yes, it's a little chilly.  Of course, I'm out there around without a coat, watching as the locals stomp about, dressed to assault the South Pole.  I will have you believe I am walking around wearing nothing more than a suit jacket because my Canadian heritage and rugged manliness make me resistant to the cold, and not because I left my overcoat on the plane on Monday. 

Really, barring the prospect of slipping and falling into a pool of freezing slush, this is not so bad.  I don't think winter weather is as bad in a big city, particularly if you d on't have to drive in it.  There's usually somewhere warm nearby you can get into if you you have to, and you rarely have to go far.  I had to walk about two blocks to get to the subway this morning, and from there, it was an indoor walk all the way to my office downtown.

And of course, living in Minneapolis reset my understanding of the word cold.  The difference between the temperature here today and the temperature the day I moved to Minneapolis in 1994 (-30 F) is about the same as the difference between the temperature here today and a summer in Texas.  Minneapolis in winter is like Pluto, only with skyways.

Video of Michael Holmes' (Amazingly Non-fatal) Fall to Earth

An amazing update to the story of Michael Holmes, the skydiver who survived a fall of 2.2 miles in New Zealand last December with only a broken ankle and a punctured lung:  The Sunday Mail has posted footage of Michael's fall taken with his helmet-cam.  The horrible crunch of a landing sounds... very uncomfortable.  A detailed account of the story is here.  What a phenomenal (and improbably happy) ending.  Via digg.

Obama Note to Self: Work on More Reassuring Answers

Via Mark Steyn at The Corner:

Asked on ABC’s “Good Morning America” last month if his lack of foreign policy experience would hurt him in his White House bid, Obama replied: “My experience in foreign policy is probably more diverse than most others in the field. I mean, I'm somebody who has actually lived overseas, somebody who has studied overseas. You know, I majored in international relations.”

I was born in Canada, and I’ve been to Epcot center half dozen times.  That’s got to be worth at least an ambassadorship.  I hope the senator will keep me in mind for the job if he wins in 2008.  In the meanwhile, if anyone needs a top-flight brain surgeon, give me a call.  I’ve visited several hospitals, and I watch ER almost every week.

That Seems Wise...

CNN:  "NASA is revising its psychological screening of astronauts after one of them, Lisa Nowak, was charged with attempted murder."

Our Monitor Will Not Tolerate Interference from Your Baby

Or maybe that's not what it means.

Philips interference-free baby monitor

181 Things To Do On The Moon

Via Digg:

If you woke up tomorrow morning and found yourself on the moon, what would you do? NASA has just released a list of 181 good ideas.

Commenter greymaxcat had exactly the same thought I did:  "Asphyxiate."
 

The Jack Bauer Merit Badge

“Included among the skills they'd be expected to master to earn the badge: Creating fireballs, knocking people unconscious with a paddle whittled with a pocketknife and ‘learning the correct moment at which to threaten the interview subject's eye with a kitchen knife and his family with painful death.’”

Moon Base

This year’s moon-based FedEx Super Bowl ad was fine, and hey, extra funny points for working in The Final Countdown.  I thought the ending was a weak attempt to reheat the punchline from last year’s ad, though.  Didn’t work as well this time.  (Last year was laugh out loud funny.)

By far, my favorite ad of those I’ve seen is this one.  They really ought to do something about that guy--he's a menace!

More or Less on Target

I went pistol shooting for the first time a couple of weekends ago, at an outdoor range not far from my house.  This was inspired partly by the notion that being minimally proficient with a firearm is, like knowing first aid, a useful life skill in case of emergency, and partly out of curiosity.  Specifically, I was curious whether I could hit the broadside of a barn.  I won't bore you with the various things that are wrong with my vision, but they are many and varied, and I was by no means confident I could even land a shot on the target.

The range loaned me a Taurus PT92, a Brazilian version of the Beretta 92F/M9 pistol used by the US armed forces, and I ran a box of 50 rounds through it.  All in all, I was pretty happy with my first time out.  Most of the time I was shooting from about 10 yards, and as you can see from the picture, I was indeed hitting most of the time.  The key seemed to be that while the target was a good distance away, the sights on the pistol are only inches away, and its the forward sight, not the target, that you need to focus on to aim accurately.  I was a bit unprepared for how loud the gun was when it fired; 9mm rounds are a lot louder than .22s.  I know I’m flinching, and I found the muzzle was climbing to the right.  I’m sure I have all manner of bad habits, though I did enough research before I went to know at least roughly how the gun should be held, what propers stance should look like, and so on.  I could do a lot worse than get a few lessons if I keep at this.

I’ve been back a couple of times, including once with my Dad, and I seem to be getting better.  All in all, it’s been fun, and challenging.  I may just have found myself a hobby.