Cuz We Said So

Spank

I'm sure we all know about Scott McClelland's kiss-and-tell book condemning the Bush presidency.

What you may have missed was former Senator Bob Dole's email to McClelland regarding the book.

Dole reportedly sent McClellan an e-mail saying every presidential administration has "miserable creatures like you ... who don't have the guts to speak up or quit if there are disagreements with the boss or colleagues."

Ouch!  But all too true.  If McClelland really believed that the Bush presidency was off-track, he should have done his best to change it, or quit.

2008 Blockbuster 3 "Indiana Jones..."

Well, we've been waiting for a long time for a fourth Indiana Jones film. We've waited through two Mummy movies, two National Treasures, a Da Vinci Code, a Sahara and Firewall. (Okay, "Firewall" didn't have any archeological puzzle solving. But it did have Harrison Ford. And it sucked.)

I walked into the theater with, I think, realistic expectations. I expected the film to be diverting, and greatly inferior to "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Because, let's face it, that film is pretty much perfect. The action was stellar, the effects were good enough that I think they hold up twenty-seven years later, and the story was organic and powerful. "Temple of Doom" was a nifty riff, a chance for Indy to be more overtly heroic, what with the saving children from slavery angle. "Last Crusade" was where the franchise started to seriously wobble, with some very spotty effects and the beginning of the "there's no way a character could survive that" problem. (Really, tell me how Indy got off that tank before it went over the cliff. Couldn't happen.)

I can't ding "Crystal Skull" for its effects. They're pretty amazing... though, since they're also clearly CG, I'm sure that in five or ten years, they'll look dated, while the "Raiders" stuff will still be impressive. But that's just where we are in filmmaking now, I guess.

For me, it's a joy just to watch a Spielberg action film in progress. He's still the master of putting you so in the action that you feel like it's happening all around you. The most technically troubling sequence is a vehicle chase through a South American jungle, but I still found myself excited by every twist and turn.

The story, though, is a little rickety. Indy meets a cold-as-ice Russian, Irina Spalko (played perfectly by Cate Blanchett) who is looking for artifacts that will give the Soviets the ability to control people's minds. She gets away with one of these artifacts, and the movie seems like it's over.

But wait! This is 1957 and the US government is in full Red Scare mode, and they have reason to doubt Indy's patriotism. (Please! He's Indy!) So he loses his job and gets recruited by Mutt (a James Dean wannabe played by Shia LaBeouf) to help save his mom and his mentor, Professor Oxley. (This is where the multiple-pass screenwriting the project has been going through for ten years starts to show the seams. Oxley's part was clearly written for Sean Connery, reprising his role as Henry Jones, Sr.) Oxley is obssessed with this one particular crystal skull (a really nifty prop, once we finally see it) and Spalko is as well, of course, though without the insane gibbering.

The rest of the film is a big chase sequence as everyone wants to be the one to return the crystal skull to its place of origin and "receive the power", whatever that may be.

The ending is spectacular, but also a little bit of a letdown for me. It seemed like it borrowed from about a half dozen other movies (that I won't name here, in case you're not fond of spoilers), including the previous Indy films. It's somewhat disappointing that Spielberg and Lucas didn't feel they could stretch the series a little bit more.

I didn't mention the return of Karen Allen as Marion (she's great) or Ray Winstone as Mac (he's sometimes great, other times trying).

All in all, very diverting, and often exciting. Just never magical, sadly.

2008 Blockbuster 2 - "Speed Racer"

I'm a little late on the draw here. I saw "Speed Racer" when it opened, but I haven't gotten around to reviewing it until now. This has given me a chance to see what the rest of the critical world thinks of the film.

Personally, I loved it. It did exactly what I hoped it would do: take a completely ridiculous story of a race-car-driving family, literally named The Racers, and develop a ridiculous world for them to live in. The race tracks Speed and his competitors run on are something out of your best dream (or worst nightmare, depending on your view), with loops and twists and curls that no car in our universe could negotiate. The film seems to take place in the present day (footage from a race fifty years earlier looks like it was filmed on ancient equipment), but the technology on display is crazy.

The thing I loved most about the TV show was the car itself. I loved the idea of those big, lettered buttons that could each do something cool: make the car jump, fix the tires, protect the driver. When we finally had the scene where those buttons were explained, I was in love with this movie. And I also respect the Wachowski's for not using all of them in the subsequent action scenes. They only used the ones they needed to use. (I suppose they were prepping for the now likely not-upcoming sequel.)

The part of the cartoon that I, even at the tender age of whatever, didn't much get into was the story. I remember the whole "Is Racer X Speed's long lost brother Rex?" concept, but nothing much else stuck. Here, despite the fact that the cars and the races are so outlandish, they play the drama totally straight. There's no winking to the audience, like "The Brady Bunch" or "Dragnet". This is played like a family drama. There just are no bad performances. (I even enjoyed Paulie Litt's Spritle, a character I didn't much care for in the cartoon.)

One reason I think the drama does work so well is that they made it very directed. There is almost NO emotional interaction between any two characters that aren't Speed. Everyone is defined by their relationship to Speed (except maybe Chim-Chim). The tortured father. The supportive mother. The clearly-horny-but-this-is-a-PG-movie girlfriend. And, of course, the central relationship is between Speed and the mysterious Racer X. The way they handled the whole Rex angle was smart. And Matthew Fox gives probably the best performance in the film. Also, he just looks like Racer X. Kudos to the casting department on that one.

I can certainly see how this film could be divisive. I knew going in that this would be a love-it-or-hate-it film. Sue me. I loved it.

2008 Blockbuster 1 - "Iron Man"

"Iron Man" is possibly the most perfect summer popcorn flick I've ever seen. It's not the best movie, by any means. (Not even in my top 20.) It's not the best comic book movie either. (Maybe in the top 5.) But it is remarkably well structured.

Robert Downey Jr. is spot perfect as Tony Stark, one-time nihilistic playboy, now a man with a mission to protect the innocent. But this doesn't play out Superman-style, with him righting wrongs around town. It's a largely technical story, revolving around the best methods for protecting US interests in a miltary setting. Stark Industries used to sell bombs. Lots and lots of bombs. Now, after a rough encounter with a terrorist organization in Afghanistan, Stark wants to completely revolutionize warfare with powered flight suits that seem more at place in anime.

The real conflict isn't with the terrorists -- they're clearly no match for Iron Man. The central conflict is with Stark's business partner, Obadiah Stane, who pretty much just wants to make money. However he can, and regardless who he works with or who gets hurt in the process. He's a much scarier bad guy than the kidnapper from the first act precisely because he doesn't seem like a comic book character.

Throw in an unrequited love story with Stark's personal aide, the ridiculously named Pepper Potts, and you have just the right mix. And that's why this is perfect popcorn fare.

The story is engaging enough to keep you awake, but not so complex that you have to try very hard to keep up. The political element is cleverly tuned so that it's pretty hard to call the film left- or right-leaning. (The left will love the idea of fewer bombs. The right will love the fact that Iron Man kicks much bad-guy ass.) The performances are all quite stellar (Downey is joined by Jeff Bridges, Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, and the voice of Paul Bettany), but not so tortured that you feel like you're watching late-fall Oscar bait. And the action scenes are just big and flashy enough to sate the ten-year-old in your soul, but not so overblown or overlong that you feel like you're watching the cut-scenes from the latest PS3 game.

Kudos to Marvel (this is their first self-produced film) and the director, Jon Favreau, for starting off the Summer of 2008 so well.

10 Things Your Airline Won't Tell You

According to SmartMoney.com:

1. "Welcome to the crowded skies."

2. "Your hard-won air miles are worth less all the time."

3. "We'll give you a good deal — if we can get something out of it."

4. "We love hidden fees."

5. "Customer service isn't always our top priority..."

6. "...unless you have a lot of miles."

7. "Our planes are ancient."

8. "Even we don't understand our pricing."

9. "We're at the mercy of "Leave It to Beaver"-era technology."

10. "You'll wait because the system's broken."

 

Victory Conditions

Frederick Kagan defines success in Iraq.  His criteria, in brief, are for Iraq to be stable, representative, oriented toward the West, an ally in the struggle against militant Islamism, and for it to control its own territory.